Parents: No Need to Feel Guilty
One thing that saps our energy the most is feeling guilty. We feel guilty that we don’t spend enough time with our kids, that we didn’t get the laundry done, that we didn’t bring homemade cupcakes to our child’s school’s birthday celebration. (Are you feeling tired yet? I am!)
When we feel guilty …we tell ourselves negative things about ourselves…I’m lazy, I am not a good mom, we compare ourselves to our friends and then we feel even worse…more tired and more drained.
Parenting Practice: INSTEAD Take one thing that you feel guilty about. Ask yourself, “Is it true that I don’t spend enough time with the kids? If yes, take action! Get your calendar out and make an appointment with your child to go bike riding or for a walk in the woods (you get the idea…it doesn’t take a lot of time or a lot of money.) If it is not true, let it go (sing the theme from Frozen boldly, at the top of your lungs) get your mind focused on something you love or brings you joy. Or if it is something you don’t really want to do…don’t do it or find some other way to make it happen. Find someone who has time to make the homemade cupcakes!
Guilt not only saps your energy but it also hangs over you like a dark cloud and makes you a not fun person to be around. In addition, you tend to use guilt to motivate other people around you like your kids or your spouse. Remember you have a choice. You choose what to dwell on.
Kathryn Kvols, Director of International Network for Children and Families and writer of Redirecting Children’s Behavior
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